Friday 27 June 2008

What Would Fox Mulder do?

I guess everyone saw the Germany game. What a weird game that was. The picture was just gone for about 6 minutes or so, but it made the second half soooo weird and suddenly the game was over.

Now, I'm a sucker for Conspiracy Theories, but this time it was the miaudonna who became all paranoid first. She was totally convinced that something was majorly wrong and the game never unfolded like that suggesting it had been played before and was now very badly cut together. She got a bit crazy then claiming she was now a Medium (astro.com doesn't agree though... and well, she is scared of ghosts so this whole thing can't really work out) and travelled through time and it was all about her future ... yeah she kinda lost me there too, but it got me thinking...

What if actually during that time we lost, all the people where stunned in the stadium and the teams were sucked into space ... and then aliens impersonated them after those six minutes and not just them but also prominent figures like the Chancellor?

Now the official story is that the energy in Vienna was cut by lightning and the UEFA world signal was therefore lost. The pictures we later got (yeah I'm talking about that shitty wonky camera which was broadcasting in 4:3 instead of 16:9) was from swiss tv, coz they had an extra cable to the stadium (now that is common practice we know... remember those spitting incidents from Euro 2004 that were uncovered by extra cameras installed by certain TV stations and not UEFA?). And they claim that the sound and pic was a bit off coz the commentator was on the phone and well it all was a bit crazy...

yeah, well it sounds all quite believable, doesn't it?

But let's be honest, what would Fox Mulder have done? He'd gotten up and sprayed a neon coloured X on the floor to mark the point he lost time!!!

Where are those 6 minutes and what did really happen?

Now people who were in the stadium claim that everything went on normal during the blackout ... yeah, hehe, everyone whose watched MIB is aware how easy it is to "flashy-thing" someone and erase all their memories and replace them with something that never happened!

My take on what happened is that UEFA and Tom Cruise made a deal with the Aliens and at least the german team and their coaching staff were sucked into space and replaced with imposters. Tom Cruise gave a very convincing performance as Jogi in a TV interview after the game...

The cover-up story worked though, so we will never know if the imposters have been replaced by the real people yet or if they indeed will be lost in space forever!

And to all those doubters out there I'm saying: you have no idea ... the visitors from afar have been out there for a couple of weeks... lurking ... watching over the situation from the distance ... waiting for the opportune moment!

Monday 23 June 2008

Now I'm Jealous

Keeping Track of my boys, I'm green with envy at the moment...

Wayne - with Coleen in VEGAS!

I wanna go to Las Vegas too! It's my fantasy escape from Project Finish, which is sooo eating me up right now ... and will till the end of the year.

Now where are the others?

JT - left Florida with wife and kids to go to Barbados
Frank - somehow ended up in Majorca with Elen on a yacht for his 30th birthday (whoat? 30? how did that happen?)
Cashley - with Miss Tweedy staying in a luxury villa in Spain
David - USA unveiling giant posters of himself in Armani underwear (reducing Freddie Ljungberg to tears, I suppose)

In good news: The showpony was kicked out of Euro 2008 by Germany and was rushed of the pitch quickly so that no-one would see his tears. Spoil sports! Anyway, he was wiping his eyes when he went off... haha! Yes, I'm that mean when it comes to him. Maybe he can order some more hookers from Leeds to cheer him up...
How disgusting is he... asking United to re-pay his loyalty (what loyalty?) and let him go to Madrid? He owes his game to Sir, he was a one-trick pony in the first 2 years.
Anyway, I'll be glad to see the back of him... so please, take the money Sir and let him join Madrid, where he will never have the discipline to perform to the same level... hehe.

Now how weird is Euro 2008? The only football force left is Germany. Will this be another 2004 where some really random country wins or will Germany take it home?

Thursday 12 June 2008

There's Something About Croatia

I've finally crowned this month "Football Month" in memory of the old factory ... so don't worry, I'll be talking about other things again in the near future.

On the day Wayne Rooney get's married to Coleen, Germany loses to Cro"we-kinda-messed-up-Englands-qualification"atia.

Keeping Track

Frank - Ibiza with Elen, being invited to a "Fuck Me I'm Famous"-club-night by an insufficiently dressed promoter

David - still in LA doing Disneyworld with the kids and Posh, who seemed to be wearing his old baggy jeans and flip-flops (flat shoes? no skinny jeans? we are shocked! is someone pregnant?)

Stevie G - in Miami with Alex, "snubbing" Wazza's wedding

Wes Brown - in Italy for Wazza's wedding

Michael Carrick - in Italy for Wazza's wedding

Tuesday 10 June 2008

Keeping Track

As I said yesterday, my task for the next few weeks is keeping track of my boys ... which is not the same as watching them play, but hey, as long as they run around beaches half-naked, I'm fine!


Before I present you my current round-up of their whereabouts, I've got a brilliant story about the man who is responsible for my boys not being united in Switzerland/Austria - Stupid Steve.

Of course he made it to those two countries nevertheless ... but this story not just put a smile on my face... it had me rolling around with laughter!

Steve McClaren - now working for Five Live as a pundit - had a rather embarrassing incident when it came to getting his media accreditation badge which every journalist - ooh, that's gotta hurt, Steve - needs to cover the tournament.

The nice UEFA official kept saying: "I'm sure I recognise you... aren't you...? Oh, that's right, didn't you used to manage Ireland?"

hehehehehe... I feel like sending that kid some flowers! I'm sure it wasn't a real UEFA official, but a volunteer ... now Special K, if you read this, you know what to say, when you meet him ... ehm yeah, and you know all those other things too (Wayne as lone striker, DB dropped, Jamie as right-back, Gaz as wingback, no proper psychological assessment, Max Clifford...)!


but enough about him, let's have a look where my boys are at!

6. David - USA playing for LA Galaxy

5. Joe Cole - half-naked in Barbados with Carly

4. Crouchy - half-naked in St. Bart's with Abbey

3. JT - Disneyland, Florida talking to Minnie

2. Wayne - last week Ibiza for his stag-do, now in Italy with Colleen for his wedding


but the winner is...


1. Rio - in Nigeria for charity reasons, being made "Chief Fiwagboye" by King Akiolu

(fiwagboye: "character maketh wealth")


I see the new England Captain! Chief Rio! I heart you, love!

Monday 9 June 2008

The Real World aka Life Happened

Dearest Internetz,

the factory has been closed for a while now, because of various reasons... mainly because "project finish" is at a pivotal point once again. I can proudly report that I've completed the fifth exam last week and there is just one more to go early next month. I can not-so-proudly report that I might have majorly screwed up that exam I just took, but I'm not sure... time will tell.

So many things have happened since I last posted and there is so much I want to tell, so let's start with the topic on everyones lips at the moment: FOOTIE!


OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

The best club in the whole wide world won the Champions League!!!



Yessssss!



This marks me being a true fan for 10 amazing and sometimes heart-breaking years!

It was different from 1999 though ... I can't really put my finger on it! But I'm so proud...



and God, I'm glad the bloody show-pony missed that penalty... I know I wouldn't be if that lost us the game, but it didn't... haha! now here is to selling him for 70 million GBP to those idiots in Madrid... yeah, I hate him!


But hey, what a game... against Chelsea no less.




It was kinda weird to see JT cry again ... and poor Frankie... aww, I love them.



__________________



Now let's talk about Euro 2008 and how weird it is for me! Since I've been a fan I can't remember a tournament I soooo wasn't prepared for. I missed the whole run-up and all the inside stories. I walk down the street and suddenly all the cars have little flags on them ... that's when I realize Euro 2008 is about to start and I'm the odd one out. *sad*

Now, the FA is walking on a tightrope at the moment ... I received an email (sender: John Terry) yesterday about some promotion concerning Wembley after they repeatedly tried to "bully" me into buying a ticket for that USA game last month. Now I love my boys, but that marketing team has bad timing ... if I'd be working for them, they wouldn't be sending out any shameless promotional emails this month that's for sure!

And yes, I'm expecting an apology ... I want Brian B. to personally tell me he is sorry for allowing Stupid Steve to ruin the qualification! That's all I want ... and something better than a lousy mousemat for my 75 GBP ... maybe a trip to a game at Wembley for free to make up for everything!

Anyway, here is to being absolutely shameless! There I was studying for "project finish" totally missing out on that last England game of the season in Trinidad and Tobago. Half the senior players didn't fly out there (coz they were involved in the CL final and given a rest), well, good old Rio did! But then look who enters the pitch as England Captain...





Yeah, whoooaaat? He kinda stepped down 2 years ago! His England dream was dead thx to Stupid Steve 1 1/2 years ago and here he is leading out the boys for his 102nd England game! I was sooooo shocked and my, what a surprise! My little fangirl heart almost jumped out of my tiny chest... Mr. B. back to where he will always belong for me (coz I love him and am incredibly sentimental!).

But that's not all, Mr. Capello says that he is still testing captains and that Mr. B is one of the contenders ... hello? how 2005 of him ... not that I'm complaining!

Now here is the other side of the story ... Jack Warner ... big name FIFA guy with a vote in who gets the 2018 World Cup.
Guess who wants to host it! Yep, England!
Guess where Jack Warner is at home! Yep, Trinidad and Tobago!
Now one last question: Who told the FA that they can leave all their senior players at home, in fact all players, as long as they bring David Beckham? Yep, Jack Warner!

there are cynical voices who say that he also requested Mr. B to captain the side, but Mr. Capello denies that his actions were political and that he gave Becks the armband in hope to buy Jackie Boy's vote!

Well, having witnessed the FA shamelessly trying to sell at least a half-decent amount of shirts this year by offering "memorial" Beckham shirts for his 100th cap on an own site inside their shop, kinda makes me think that in this case business also comes first! And I don't blame them. He is still able to play a good competitive 60 minutes and a tournament without the Beckham Roadshow is totally boring, so here is to him playing in South Africa 2010 (or make that Gemany)... hehe!

Dearest Internetz, it's past the factory girl's bed time... so I finish for now. But there will be more tomorrow I think. Because, while everyone in Europe is travelling to Switzerland/Austria I have made it my task to track down where my boys are at... and the results are hilarious.

xoxo factory girl